Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Mr Blue Sky.. blue..

Apologies to one of my favorite bands when I was growing up. Today I went out and rode about 2hrs. It was nice today. The sun was shining one of those ELO sort of "blue sky" days. The air was crisp then warm and beautiful. Sometimes I just want to go ride and not stop. Not be obligated to return. Just keep going.. eventually I do return. It's such a waste to have a day like today and need to come back to a cold box full of cold concrete.


I think sometimes if the sun was shining, I would just keep going. Next thing you know I'd be anywhere but here. Unfortunately LA doesn't work like that. The interstate just holds you in place.

One point in my ride, I got lost. I rode down 7th Street and saw hundreds of people looking like they were waiting for a bus. They weren't. There were so many people and it's not that I don't know about the homeless, but there you go. There they are. I kept riding, not turning off the street because I felt if I left a busy street, I'd be more lost. As it was I just soaked up all the heat and emotions and sadness and I kept thinking, "this could be me." I've been lucky. I've been fortunate. The worst I've ever had, is to couch surf. The worst I've had is to miss my bus after a two shifts (OK, 2 jobs, never a double) and spend the night walking the Quarter or hanging out at my favorite pub drinking diet cokes til 4am watching Perry Mason repeats with the barkeep.. Then I would have to wear the same clothes to my day job all over again. Thinking how lucky I've been and to complain about how cold my building gets, (even now my hands are shaking and my teeth are chattering) seems inane and petty. My nights on the couch will never be as uncomfortable as a night in a cardboard box or a two man tent. Sleeping in tents is what people like myself do for fun, not what I have to do because I have nothing else.

I didn't take any pictures on 7th as other people have that down better than I ever could. Plus I didn't want to stop honestly. The red lights were the worst. The blocks just go on and on with so many people. I don't remember seeing this many homeless people anywhere I've lived. Anywhere. I'm sure there are so many other people, like myself, living in the 'new downtown' that don't have to see that or choose not to see it. It's emotionally scary and sad. Yes, I have no idea. However, I didn't mean for this post to be such a downer.

It really was a beautiful day, despite the crap that goes on to people in the world. For a while I forgot about it and enjoyed the sky, the quiet, the sound of just my bike and myself pedaling through endless roads of emptiness. The situation on 7th street was such an intense contrast to that.

I had a mostly good new year's eve. I had a VERY quiet new years eve. I stayed at home and listened to the other parties going on at all hours through the building, the drunken karaoke or whatever it was. It was horrible. Actually it's still going on tonight. *thump thump.. thump thump..* It'll get going more later I'm sure. Bunch of college kids in the building. I won't be the only deaf person when I get older. I digress though. I spent it reading a library copy of Elements of Style and watching movies.

I don't drink much, so when I do I tend to say and act stupid. I get happy over little things, and upset over little things. I just need to remind myself today started out alright. Tomorrow is another day to forget the world, and to get it right. It's all you can do I suppose to keep from giving it up and packing it in. I hate coming down off buzzes because I usually get a little bummed about things. I'm a lightweight.

Perhaps it's just another day to sleep in. Perhaps it'll be another blue sky sort of day. Happy to be out. Happy to be in the world and not really of it. Just existing and not eating, or being sad or caring to be sad, or caring at all, just being happy at the thought. In other words, another day out on the bike; or not.

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