Sunday, February 22, 2015

overwhelmed..

Mirror of the World will be my best friend today.. We will have many adventures! #books #art4 #iamstudying
Mirror of the World.. it will be my best friend today.. We will have many adventures.. and then I will move on to something else hopefully.. a bit of reading for US History.

Wedging relationships with various books between other things on-going, and going on. I feel I am abusing the books and not giving them the attention they deserve, but what can you do? I think that often is the way with education. So much to go into the process, everything gets granulated into the mix to form tasteless biscuts of facts. This is where the love for learning is lost. This is where I wish I had 30hrs in a day to tell you how much everything is truely connected to each other.

The age of reason and art. Truth no matter how ugly. Passion and storytelling. Love with no illusions. Justice.

Friday, January 30, 2015

The Kindest Heart

on what would have been your birthday.. Honorary Uncle
I *heart* this tree ;)


the kindest heart
i have known
beyond measure
has walked the earth
and then has gone..
father/ uncle/ mentor..
gift.
priest.
poet.
word scribe..
Wanderer.
answering doubt with hope
and love
and kind.
the kindest heart
fostered minds
fathering generations
beyond what
you may know..
readers/ writers/ adventurers
inspirer.
gift.
love.
lived.
endowed us all with
will
to truely live.
to give.
to become..
to trust
to know.
the kindest heart
I'll ever know.
who would have you
love
hope
be kind
and know joy..


and was mine
(ours..)


of all the questions I should have asked was "What do I do when I have questions I can no longer ask you?"

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Zac's.. or how to bribe me. ;)

You want me to walk the extra distance somewhere, an easy way to do it is to include a favorite dining place in the adventure..
Untitled
A trip to Trader Joe's on College would include lunch at Zachary's College Avenue location..

Zac's Special
Zac's Special.. Italian sausage, green peppers, onion and mushrooms

Untitled
amazingly yummy.. a 10"small is 6 huge slices..

We ended up devouring the whole pizza (sharing a spinach salad, and a couple iced teas) between the two of us.. sort of an early dinner/late lunch.. (aka: "Linner") and ended up so stuffed it made not being tempted at TJ's a lot easier.. ;) Walking there & back was good excercise but you can bet it didn't make up for all the pizza.

Fortunately we live far enough away that the walk over there makes the visit a special treat rather than an over-indulgence.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Resolutions.. 2015

It's the closing of the year & time to make a new list of stuff that I probably won't accomplish.. but that's the point right?? We try to do better.. sometimes we do... sometimes it's just wishful thinking.

Some previous list items that are #done or almost there:

01. READING. This year I did fantastic with the 'reading at least ..2 books a month' challenge.. I managed 53 (& counting!) I think I'll stick with that same challenge for 2015 since I also know I don't read as many books when school is in session. ;)

just a few books!
a few of the books I plan to read or re-read or currently reading for this next year..

02. "Getting Home more." We are home. We are in Berkeley. so #happycamper right?? ;) SO..
2b: getting back to SoCal to see friends now & again would be good!

03. Walking/Biking/wii fit.. I did better since 2011.. I'm walking every day! I get my 10k+ steps in almost every day.. and I joined the Y a couple months ago & am hitting the pool once in a blue moon.. the next step is to make an appt. with the trainer so I can use the equipment (the rowing machine especially!!) properly!

Yay! My bike got me here!
3b. Bike. When the weather gets better.. Back on the bike! Be brave! Hit those Berkeley streets & hills!

04. Join some of the Berkeley Path Wanderers walks.. There's a couple coming up on the 1st and the 10th.. The latter will be a Little Free Libraries walk.. so you know that's right up my alley! ;)

05. Passport.. I have a new copy of my birth certificate, so. um.. yeah. Get that thing! I wants to go on a cruise or run off to Canada & see friends one day. ;)

06. Back on Program.. I'm on, I'm off. I got down to about 172 (from 190+ lbs in Feb.) and back up to about 180 this holiday.. so I'll start tracking my food again after the new year.. My ultimate goal is 140 with a plateau of 150.. ;)

NEW STUFF:

07. Each day is a new day. I am going to try & treat each day as a new opportunity to try things again.. Not let people or things get me down for too long.. If someone dissapoints me, I don't want to let it pile up.. Maybe they were having a bad day & took it out on me? Maybe it was me that did something wrong, but no one told me. Who knows? ..I got to not let that tear me down or hurt me. It's a bad habit I have, and it piles up or re-visits me at the wrong times.

08. Along that line.. I can't say I'm going to be Pollyanna.. but I do realize no one loves you when you're down & out. With that in mind.. I'm going to try & not verbalize my misery so much. Not only does no one give a rats, it makes me look like I can't handle my junk & I'm a whiner. I can totally handle it but I'm definitely one of those people that verbalize more than I should.. Honestly, I get over stuff pretty easily.. So if something bugs me one minute or day, I might be over it an hour or a day later. Maybe. ;) So yeah whining about something that I end up letting go of within minutes makes me look pathetic.

09. Clear the clutter. We downsized but didn't downsize our stuff so much. So getting organized is probably the biggest thing that's going to have to happen this next year.. I know it's not all on me.. but I need to be the instigator! ;)

10. Continue to be proactive in learning about & involved in Berkeley & California.. whether it's through my volunteer activities, attending Bancroft Roundtable events, book festivals, readings, other historical society (California, OMCA, BAHA, Berkeley) events.. Keep learning and growing.. and keep reading and looking for more opportunities to gather knowledge.


The Neverminds:

Berkeley City College

10. Creative Writing class. I've returned to school.. and at some point I'll be taking English 5: Critical Thinking in Reading & Writing course.. so.. yeah. Plus the history classes I'm taking require papers so writing is something I'm doing as part of the coursework. My thought is that I want to key in on how I'm writing & encourage my instructors to hopefully give me feedback whenever possible, (so many of these folks have heavy loads & I don't expect them to have time to really talk to me, let alone give me tips or constructive criticism.. but I can ask right??)

11. No longer looking for bio siblings. People who were looking found who they were looking for. I do want to learn about Native American orphanages of the early half of the 20th Century and how they worked and why they even exisited. Not in a rush.


I'm actually in a pretty happy place in my life. When I look through my list I don't see anything that jumps out at me as difficult or not doable. I think of other things I'd like to do.. like getting out in the parks again to continue my photo tour of Berkeley City parks, or returning to the hills to walk.. these are things I just need to allocate time for. They aren't challenges so much as things I enjoy that I've been putting on the back burner. My main focus recently has been school and the volunteering.. Finding balance between the things I need to do and what I want to do (often these are the same things!) could be proabably be a 12?

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

there is a place..


there is a space
a room in my heart
left empty by you..
i fill it with books
and memories..
i cover it in bandages
with the purrs
of a cat
who sits over that hole
fills it with love
til he jumps off
to the next thing.
there is a hole
i fill with random thoughts
and gestures
and hope
all fleeting
like the clouds..
the fog that rolls in off the hills
across the bay
lost to drowning..
poisened by sorrow
there is that emptiness
left and never filled
for long longing.