The Shelter at Home for Alameda County is easing up.. Masks/face coverings are still mandatory when out and about or in stores, but we're seeing a loosening in restrictions: just in time for the very important global protests! We'll see how it works out, healthwise. For now, we who can't be in crowds because of health can find other ways of giving our support.
This post is mainly a way for me to ease myself back into blogging. Now the semester is over, things aren't slowing down. Summer 2019, I was looking at participating in 2 MA programs, thinking I could enroll part-time in one program, while enrolled fulltime in another! I am rethinking that!
The pandemic didn't have a lot to do with it, as much as things going on in my family life. School and the COVID19 pandemic just made the stress a LOT worse. Dropping the online course I was taking in another program seemed the only choice I had. Sadly it also meant I had to be willing to take an "F" in a Masters program. In the end, because of the pandemic, we were allowed to petition for a 'credit/ no credit' and that saved me. I'm still on probation in that program (having only taken 1 credit Fall 2019 and passed) but I"m not 'in trouble' so much. It's allowing me time to regroup and focus on the things I need to focus on.
Since then, our furkid of 18 1/2 yrs passed on (3 weeks ago today) from what the vets thought to be intestinal cancer. Prior to that, we were keeping an eye on a thyroid issue, adjusting medications, and taking turns giving him what often amounted to hourly care. And over the last few years, a very close family member of mine has also been very ill, and increasingly worse. The decision to not put my education on hold seemed a practical choice, knowing the need to make long-distance travel never far out of mind. Hopefully one can imagine how stressful that would be when your community, your state, and most of your country is practicing shelter at home. And while I don't want to discuss the details, suffice to say, no one is traveling right now despite the loosening of restrictions. I'm not planning any trips to theme parks any time soon either. No crowds for me. To be honest, another masked trip to COSTCO a couple weeks ago was anxiety-inducing by the time I got home.
But I'm busy with school. I'm focusing on my history MA at Hayward. We've been (& continue to be) online-only for now. I have my MA project approved and trying to figure out my research strategies and what sources I'll have available once I get the materials I already have organized. This Fall I'm taking a Public History Practicum course and a Graduate Portfolio course (both online for now.) I still need to keep working on my Public History project due in the Spring. Summer is the time to complete as much as possible.
I'm also reading for pleasure to alternate the Secondary source material I'll read for my research. I'm stepping away from my online MA program for now, and will likely ask to skip the Spring Semester as well. I think had things gone differently, I may have felt doing both were still feasible. There's a programing course I really was looking forward to taking, but that will have to wait until Summer 2021, I think. As of right now, (with the library & archives/ historical associations being closed) I am feeling unsure how much progress on my project I'll make. I know: Think positive!! Whatever. (I'm really starting to equate the phrase with the annoying suggestion certain people make to others to "Smile!")
The thing I would tell myself if I could go back in time, or if someone asked me if enrolling in two MA programs was possible or a good idea: Yes, it's possible.. but, if you have things going on in your life that may impact your ability to focus on your studies or participate in coursework (especially if the courses meet in person), then you need to give it some thought. Had I known now what I was looking at in the next year, I would have kicked myself and said "You know you don't want to, but YOU HAVE TO WAIT on that other program!"
I am an impatient person though, so I did what I thought was right. Maybe I would still be OK if a pandemic hadn't closed the libraries and historical societies. I know some professors might disagree, but it's been my experience that COVID has really impacted graduate research. But it also makes me feel that now more than ever, digital archives are an important asset. If digital archives were given more funding, more staffing; access to important documents and materials wouldn't be such a desperate issue when things like a hundred-year pandemic crop up. But "who knew?!" you're probably saying/ thinking. Another consideration is the amount of time, money, and travel for researchers who need access to out of state or overseas resources. And speaking of mobility, there's also those that are mobility impaired. Leaving one's residence isn't always an easy option for many, elderly or not. Why should research become difficult or impossible for some? So yeah, I've been rambling but access is important!
Back to the blog.. creating a blog will be part of my Graduate Portfolio course I've been told by some of my cohorts. While I won't be posting any of that material here, I think I should get back to blogging, so I can be more comfortable with the interface, (regardless where I end up posting my coursework). Practicing some basic HTML, etc., which means I may do some back-log posting. We'll see. This has become a bit of a novel, so ending for now. Hoping everyone stays safe and healthy as you go about your day.
Jan 2001-Oct 27th 2015
Kiki was adopted Nov 2001 from the Berkeley Humane Society on 9th street.. We thought she'd make a good cat mom or playmate for Alexander, who we'd adopted a couple months previous.. This never came to be.. but they put up with each other..
Her birthday was celebrated every January.. 2001 (around the 11th) was approximated by our then vet Dr. Harkewicz at Berkeley D&C.. We celebrated both her adoption anniversary & her kitty birthday.. usually with some cat grass or a special toy or treat..
KIki liked 'tummy rubbins', skritchies under the chin & behind the ears, brushings, playing "handsy" under the quilt.. She liked to watch the Giants games or just take naps.. she loved her balls, her little Eyeore plushies, her daddy's shoes, rolling in his dirty socks, people watching and chirping at random birds outside the window.
She was a good therapy cat, always wanting to snuggle up next to our hip or just relax with one or both of us.. When sleep couldn't be found, you could count on Kiki & her purrs to relax & put you to sleep.
She loved Harry Potter movies, being read to, and listening to jazz music.. but mostly she just liked hanging out in sun patches, or on the couch, or bed, taking naps & just being with her people. She was almost always mellow... as long as there was no earthquake, or doorbells, or repairmen.. or her brother pestering her.. ;)
She passed away as a result of serious Chronic Kidney Disease (she'd gotten seriously ill last winter but with treatement and a change in diet, was on the mend the last several months we'd thought.. then took a serious lapse the previous week).. She was raised in Berkeley, as well made her home in Anaheim, LA, Emeryville & finally the last year home in Berkeley.. She was a Berkeley Cat & loved by her human family very very much.
on a better day.. "Princess" Kiki 2 May 2015
It's our first Thanksgiving owning our own place, and it's Throw-back Thursday! Not so much a Berkeley post.. Then again I doubt the 2 or 3 people that show up reading this really care, and hey! It's been a month since my last post! (that's another post tho..)
I give you my first Thanksgiving:
(photo credit J. Hesselink)
Here we are in our Norman Rockwell 1973 splendor.. My brother Bob is wearing his headgear at the table.. I'm sitting next to him, then my mom.. Despite it being our original home in Indiana, it's Gramma at the head of the table taking charge of "Grace" and my dad carving the turkey from the opoosite end.. My Aunt Violet sits to her left of Gramma and there's my brother Craig.. I'm pretty sure my Uncle Earl was there (Violet's husband) but not in the shot. My dad took this with one of those neat Poloroids where you had a time dial and then could peel the photo off it's chemical backing when the buzzer went off..
This is one of my favorite pix of me and my brothers (Bob on the left & Craig on the right). What a chubby little rugrat. I didn't know I was allergic to chocolate yet, I don't think... Look how happy we are. =)
You'd never know I'd grow up to be so freaking emo =P
If you have diabetes, take care of yourself.. and if you don't, take care of yourself. Someone is thinking of you even if you don't know it.
Today my honorary uncle Lloyd would have been 84years old.
I started writing him when I was about 12years old (I'll be 40 this summer). We corresponded through everything in my life. He always had time for me, he always was a decent and kind human being. I can't say I would ever live up to to him or what I imagined he was like. Just knowing him gave you something to aspire to, perhaps. I loved him so much like the family I never had, and never would have. He was one of the smartest, kindest most decent people I ever have been lucky to meet, and I would have done anything for him. Honestly. He never asked anything of me no matter what I offered, he was always appreciative. He's one person had he asked me the moon I would have given it.
Not knowing me or much about me,you should know I don't trust easy. I find it hard to love people as deeply or unconditionally as that. He and his wife Janine were beyond measure. I could go on and on about what a good friend he and Janine, but especially Lloyd has been to me. I could never imagine my life without him. He always believed in me. Even when I didn't believe in myself. He seemed to have a sense of love for the people that came into his life. He was giving. He was selfless, and he hardly ever had a bad word for anyone. So of course he wasn't perfect, and who is? No one that's right. He made everything alright though, even when they weren't.
Last year, the 17th of May, 2 days before my 6th wedding anniversary, I got the devastating news that he had passed on from cancer. He smoked most his life, but it wasn't the cigarettes that got him so much. I don't know what it was, he had colon cancer or something. I honestly never knew he was ill. He was writing not just children's literature but letters to his friends almost up the end. He never told me he was sick. I don't know who knew and who didn't, but he never really let on.
I find so many times a day there are things I want to tell him and share with him. Things I'd ask him if only he were here. Adventures I've had and things I've seen, and people I've met. None of that really makes a difference if it's all gone. I imagine it perhaps. Because he isn't here to know. How much he's loved and missed and wanted and needed. He's sailed his golden ship to the Summer Country and left me behind to scrabble on the docks losing my footing now & again..
I know it's not his fault, he stayed as long as he could. He's not responsible for my life. I am. No one else. I learned what I could and then it's up to me and the rest of us to keep going, falling and getting up and teaching each other what we've learned, and perhaps helping each other when we can along the way, grasping.. reaching out for each other when, like a slippery shore, we've fallen forward and hope there's someone to catch us when we lose our balance.
Yes I know I have loved because my heart breaks every day. It's just sometimes there are things that make us forget just a little bit. Today was not one of those days. I wanted to make it right so much. Sometimes no matter how much you want things for yourself or other people, today isn't always going to be the day it happens.
sorry if this post is too long, it had to be said.
